In the Land of Stuart Nodd

Hear, my friends, the tragic tale of Stuart Nodd. He was a foole, born void of brane, which left him dull of wit and lacking any skill. He tryed many trades, but alas, his demeanor rendered him noisome. He crowed small achievements as mighty, and blamed others for his shortcomyngs. He demanded ryches as his due what he had not earned. No master could bide his mediocrity for his vile temperment.

He sought his fortune in the mighty Kingdom called Amyzon. He gathered a pittance of coynes, but failed to bide the laws of the lande. Alas, his gormlessness soon caused him to be banished.

As he wept and wailed at the borders of Amyzon, a kindly Wyzard took pity upon him. The Wyzard gave him the secret spelle which would give him a disguise for which to return to Amyzon. Stuart Nodd cleansed his tooles and changed his nayme, and soon was gathering again coynes. The Wyzard but warned him, "Keep thy profyle low. Speake not loud nor complayne. Be not arrogant nor profayne. You have not the right to tread the lande of Amyzon for ye have been banished. Above all, be graytefull for thy chance to prosper."

Stuart Nodd abode the Wyzard, but for a brief tyme. Stuart believed himself deserving, for his wit was shyt, and soon resumed his odious wayes. The Wyzard chastysed him for his lack of grace, which made Stuart tantrum as though a child moste petulant. Stuart made threats upon the Wyzard of bilious ill will. The Wyzard did become disheartened at Stuart's ungrateful tantrume and did break the spelle.

The Greate Power of Amyzon saw Stuart had returned to the lande despyte had been duly banished, and was banished once more. Stuart was flung owt upon his asse to his proper playce, lesser than that of rats and myce. He screamed UNFAYRE, and with each plaint becayme smaller and smaller til he vanished as a farte in the wynd.

The moral of this sad tayle:
Know thy place, dyckwad. Don't fuck with a wyzard.

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