As you know, I am extraordinarily clever. When I am not masturbating over pictures of myself, I craft the cleverest quizzes known to the unworthy lesser beings that are humankind. How can you tell my quizzes are better than everyone else's? The best teams in the city do not play them! They're intimidated by my intellect, you see.
Being the best quizmaster ever entitles me to certain right and privileges above the slobbering proles. For example, someone...I can barely bring myself to say it, such is my outrage...removed the link to my site from Wikipedia!
Despite someone dared remove my blabby additions to the Quizzo article, I consider it my personal, private property. My verbose pontifications provided the basis for the clean, simple article that remains, which allows me to confidently claim credit for the entire thing.
Therefore, I have the right to self-promotion.
I (used to) play Quizzo, and I host Quizzo in several dives, ergo the Wikipedia owes me free advertising. There are dark forces at work here, people.
I am obviously the Victim of a conspiracy which most likely involves the Illuminati, the Mafia, and whoever faked the Apollo moon landings. I capitalize Victim because I have been conspired against before. Such is the price of greatness, nay, genius. Genius and greatness.
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This is the place to praise me! Make sure to capitalize all pronouns which refer to me, like people do for Jesus. I've earned it. I'm entitled, dammit.