Country Means Country, Asshole

In one of my world-class clever quizzes, I asked for a list of countries west of Germany. Some idiot wrote down "Scotland." Even though most people are pathetically stupid compared to me, what kind of nimrod doesn't know that "country" means only one thing: country. Country means what I say it means and nothing else. Some Brit tried to tell me I am...get this...wrong. I know exactly what I am talking about, because I have a Degree in Political Science. Quizzo in a shithole bar is exactly where a Degree like mine comes in handy.

Here is why Scotland is not a country:
  • No one speaks English.
  • They can't tell the difference between "soccer" and "football."
  • They drink warm beer.
  • They wear man-skirts.
  • Trainspotting.

In fact, Scotland isn't even there anymore. The United States of Kingdoms call itself a "country made of countries," but who are they to decide? They're not even American! Have your heard how they talk? They can't spell properly and use the wrong words for things. We only allow them to call their bastard language "English" so they'll buy Big Macs and Starbucks coffee. Anyone who is educated like me knows this.

I won't be getting comments for long. As soon as you proles begin to annoy me I plan to heavily censor all comments. It's my right as a man of letters. And the hate mail!


  1. Tizzy Lish09:42

    The government of the UK considers Scotland to be a country. What do you make of that?

  2. How DARE you present evidence to me! Were you not LISTENING when I said I have a DEGREE??

    I said Scotland isn't a country, ERGOOOOO, it isn't a country. There...I have thoroughly and scientifically refuted your "evidence." Later, dipweed.

  3. Walpole12:31

    "The United Kingdom is made up of four countries: England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. Its full name is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland."

    This is good enough for me.

  4. BLASPHEMY!! Do you have a DEGREEE?? DOOO YOUU??

    I didn't think so with that RIDICULOUS "evidence." If those "countries" were "countries" their names would be in the NAME of the country! HELLO! Did you not notice this? Of course not, because YOU do not have a DEGREE in Comparative Politics.

    I COMPARED what you wrote to what I KNOW, and found it to be WRONG! This type of calumny from proles is intolerable!

  5. Anonymous19:51

    Is this a joke?


This is the place to praise me! Make sure to capitalize all pronouns which refer to me, like people do for Jesus. I've earned it. I'm entitled, dammit.